7 Days 'Til Transplant

"Are you excited?"

This is either the question on everyone's mind or part of a memo that was received by everyone but me. Either way, these three little words are raised at every event, greeting, or encounter I’m part of. However, although the question is exhausting to hear, my answer has changed several times over the past few weeks.

For those of you who asked three weeks ago, you probably heard something along the line of, "Yes. But I'm a little nervous too."

At the two week mark my answer sounded more like, "Yes and no. I'm excited to go but I'm not ready to leave Daniel."

And now, with exactly one week left in the States, my answer is whole-heartedly "Yes."

The last 14 days or so spent in Myrtle Beach have been filled with blessings with the biggest being the times I've heard from God and received comfort from his Holy Spirit.

Spending the summer in Michigan was full of trials. Health issues, family stress, and a complete lack of spiritual nourishment left me feeling drained and anxious. For three months I didn't have the luxuries of hearing heartfelt worship, meeting with my Refuge and ETL people, or having someone to encourage my walk with Christ. Without realizing it, I had begun to feel numb and had grown distant from the one source that means the most.

Since returning to the beach, I've once again found myself submersed in church and campus ministries and it's been VERY refreshing! Slowly my heart has been softened and for the first time in months, I can sense my connection to Christ. The time "spent away" (not from the faith, but from complete submersion) reminded me of several things:

1) I can NOT exist outside of God's presence
2) If I become unplugged from the source, my spirit suffers greatly
3) God is always present, always faithful, and always loving - it is I who am rebellious, complacent, and stubborn

I've been thinking of this post and what I should write for quite awhile and yet, I'm still finding it difficult to express my heart. I suppose it's because my relationship with Christ and his presence in my life exist outside of words or clichés. It (meaning the Holy Spirit) isn't something that can be explained or identified, it's something that IS.

A final thoughts about my life and my future:

A good friend recently told me that ministry, in all of its forms, is a calling - not a job. He said that if it were a job, he would have quit long ago. I say that to those who still don't understand or approve of my decision to set aside my college education, leave my home country and native language, and move to a third world country may understand that I'm not doing this for you, for me, or even for them - I'm doing it for Him. When God knit me together in my mother's womb he decided that I would be a missionary. It's as simple as that. I did not choose this life, it was chosen for me. And I don’t get to ask why, only how.

I'm reading a great book called Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus and he puts it like this:

"That door [meaning the door that leads to the fulfillment of our dreams] once passed through changes our lives forever; not because life is now better than it has ever been, but because we know we are on the path we were created to walk. It is our glory road, our glorious adventure. We have been called out of the mundane into a life beyond out wildest imagination. We have a mission, a purpose, a destiny. Finding [this] unique path does not bring us to a happy ending of [the] story - only a new beginning."

And that, my friend, is a beginning I’m ready to start!