I attended church today and with only eleven days left in 2008, we talked about our vision for the upcoming year and shared the things we're thankful to have experienced over the past 365 days.
If you're reading this I assume you're interested in my life, at least in some degree, so here are my answers:
My hope for 2009 is that I will truly be able to embrace my life in the Dominican Republic. So far, I have focused on simply surviving the transition, but that's not enough. I don't want to live each day struggling to keep my head above water, feeling like an emotional wreck, and counting the days until I return to the U.S. I know that God has lead me to the DR and I desire to focus more on HIM and less on my circumstances.
**My list of blessings extend much further than what I can write or fully express, but here's a short list:
-The constant love, patience, and mercy of my Savior and Lord Jesus Christ. Without Him I truly would have and be nothing.
-The past 8 months that I've been given to love my boyfriend Daniel. Our relationship has brought me more joy than I've ever known possible. And baby when you read this I want you to know that there are no words to express my love for you. I am so grateful for your encouragement and support. The past three months have been especially hard, but Daniel, I can truly say that I love you more now than ever before. I'm gunna marry you one day day!!
-My parents and future in-laws. All of your prayers, encouragement, support and love have supplied me with so much strength and courage. I am forever grateful for each of you.
-My church family, both near and far. I covet your prayers, words of encouragement, emails, visits, and phone calls. Your financial support supplies my material necessities but your spiritual support provides for my deepest needs.
-The friends who always welcome me with open arms and hearts. One of the greatest blessings God has given me is each of you.
-Sam. Thanks for being such a good little buddy!
-clean water, electricity, air conditioning and heat, communication technology, good health, laughter, hugs, Christmas lights and music, worship, food, and finally, the ability to recall and cherish memories but still hope for the future.
With the New Year quickly approaching, I pray that each of you will be blessed by the Mighty Hand of God. Remember to pray first, listen second, and act third.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Three Cords
This past week I received the amazing gift of fellowship. Two close friends spent their Thanksgiving breaks here with me and I can not begin to express my gratitude for them. They helped accomplish some tasks around the house, they loved on Jackie's kids in INCREDIBLE ways, and they helped me laugh...really laugh....the type that brings tears to your eyes and pains to your ribs. Oh how I've missed that!
Catto spent 4 days here and everywhere we went kids commented on how big his arms are. They had never seen someone so chiseled! It was adorable. Both at Jackie's House and in the communit
ies he inevitably became a human jungle gym :-) At one point we even convinced some boys that he was Rambo! I loved watching him play with the kids and it was so nice to have a male presence while walking around town. For the first time in three months I was able to walk down the street and not hear cat calls and obnoxious comments. I didn't realize how much the calls had stopped until yesterday. Catto was already back in the States and Cari and I walked to the grocery store amidst horns honking, men screaming Hola from car windows, and others who remained silent but attempted to undress us with their eyes. What a difference a bodyguard makes!
ies he inevitably became a human jungle gym :-) At one point we even convinced some boys that he was Rambo! I loved watching him play with the kids and it was so nice to have a male presence while walking around town. For the first time in three months I was able to walk down the street and not hear cat calls and obnoxious comments. I didn't realize how much the calls had stopped until yesterday. Catto was already back in the States and Cari and I walked to the grocery store amidst horns honking, men screaming Hola from car windows, and others who remained silent but attempted to undress us with their eyes. What a difference a bodyguard makes! But overall, the trip did wonderful things in his heart and when it came time to say goodbye, he was anything but ready. He's only been gone two days and he's already planning a return trip!!
And I can't begin to express how wonderful it was to have Cari here. Although she had a bedroom of her own, she opted to sleep in mine so we could talk. We stayed up until 3 am her first night! We also made an impromptu Thanksgiving dinner yesterday that consisted of fried chicken, mac and cheese, potatoes, and brownies - YUM! And we rescued two puppies! Yes, you heard me right, TWO. I still don't really know how it happened, but when we were at the garbage dump Jackie put a puppy in my arms and suggested I take it home. The crazy thing is, I
actually did! He's absolutely adorable and extremely smart (within just 4 days he's potty trained!).
actually did! He's absolutely adorable and extremely smart (within just 4 days he's potty trained!). Two hours later we were in Cercadillo and before Cari knew what was happening, some kids thrusted a solid white puppy into her arms and told her that his mommy refused to feed him and he was going to starve. Their story was confirmed by his protruding ribs and although Cari insisted the children take him back, they refused and ran away. She was left standing in the dark, holding a puppy, unsure what she should do next. Before possibilities could be discussed, Jackie quickly ushered us into the van and we sped away, with Samson sleeping in my arms and Dominito resting in hers!
(We've researched ways to get Dominito home to the States and we have several leads, but if nothing works out, I plan to give him away to a family here. Either way, he's much better off in the city then in Cercadillo!)
I thank God for the blessing of true friendship that surpasses miles and months apart. And guys, if you're reading this, I LOVE YOU.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Another Hill
I apologize for my recent lack in blogging. Please allow me to bring you up to speed...
The last several days have been hard. Although I've lived in the Dominican for nearly three months now, and learned to accept the traffic, stray dogs, guns, and trash, there are many things I still struggling with.
If I had to pick one thing I miss most about the States (besides Daniel) it would be the fellowship. Oh how I long for friends!! I've met a lot of wonderful people here but the language barrier stands in the way because I can't really connect with them. And unfortunatly, my relationship with Jackie is thwarted by some personal struggles that she's trying to overcome. Although I spend five days a week at her house and am lucky to see her for more than a total of 20 minutes.
I attempt to ignore my loneliness by chatting online, sending emails, and surfing the web, but this week the longings surpassed my laptop. There are a lot of questions that linger in my heart concerning God's will for my life. Questions like: Does He Still Want Me Here? What Am I Missing? What Am I Supposed To Be Doing? Can I Survive Two Years Like This? Should I Go Home? Could I Go Home? Although not all of my questions have been answered, I do know this; God DOES want me here for one year. For a variety of reasons I'm uncertain about anything longer than that, and that's ok. Because I know that when the time comes to make a decision about whether or not to stay an additional year, the decision will already be made for me. And so, for the next nine months, I am 100% committed to the Dominican Republic.
My quiet time this morning was fabulous. While I was journaling this was laid upon my heart, "Jesus, my time here has been, and continues to be, hard and lonely at times. But my heart knows there's a reason for my struggles - my mind just doesn't know what it is yet. But Lord, you don't call people's minds to follow you, you call their hearts. And Jesus, although I don't understand so many things right now, my heart does understand your love." And that love is more than I could ever express in words: That love is what saved my life; That love is what brought me here; And that love is what will keep me here, however long that may be.
The last several days have been hard. Although I've lived in the Dominican for nearly three months now, and learned to accept the traffic, stray dogs, guns, and trash, there are many things I still struggling with.
If I had to pick one thing I miss most about the States (besides Daniel) it would be the fellowship. Oh how I long for friends!! I've met a lot of wonderful people here but the language barrier stands in the way because I can't really connect with them. And unfortunatly, my relationship with Jackie is thwarted by some personal struggles that she's trying to overcome. Although I spend five days a week at her house and am lucky to see her for more than a total of 20 minutes.
I attempt to ignore my loneliness by chatting online, sending emails, and surfing the web, but this week the longings surpassed my laptop. There are a lot of questions that linger in my heart concerning God's will for my life. Questions like: Does He Still Want Me Here? What Am I Missing? What Am I Supposed To Be Doing? Can I Survive Two Years Like This? Should I Go Home? Could I Go Home? Although not all of my questions have been answered, I do know this; God DOES want me here for one year. For a variety of reasons I'm uncertain about anything longer than that, and that's ok. Because I know that when the time comes to make a decision about whether or not to stay an additional year, the decision will already be made for me. And so, for the next nine months, I am 100% committed to the Dominican Republic.
My quiet time this morning was fabulous. While I was journaling this was laid upon my heart, "Jesus, my time here has been, and continues to be, hard and lonely at times. But my heart knows there's a reason for my struggles - my mind just doesn't know what it is yet. But Lord, you don't call people's minds to follow you, you call their hearts. And Jesus, although I don't understand so many things right now, my heart does understand your love." And that love is more than I could ever express in words: That love is what saved my life; That love is what brought me here; And that love is what will keep me here, however long that may be.
"A righteous man will be remembered forever. He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. His heart is secure, he will have no fear."
Psalm 112:7-8
Friday, November 14, 2008
Traffic, Garbage, Guns, and Dogs
These are the four things that most foreigners notice first about the Dominican Republic.
First, transportation. There are rarely traffic jams because everyone just makes his or her own way. Suggested lanes are painted on the streets, but I think I am one of the few that notice them. Where two lanes of traffic should be exist four, complete with zigzagging motorcycles and street vendors. There are truly no words to accurately describe Dominican traffic, however, the phrase "organized chaos" does come to mind. Here are some examples of their driving "skills"....
-- One ways are only one ways if you allow them to be
-- You can park ANYWHERE at ANYTIME...even in the middle of a one-lane road during rush hour.
-- If you're driving a motorcycle, you're exempt from following any rules or laws. Please, do as you'd like.
-- Use you horn for any of the following reasons: "Excuse me, please" , "Don't pull out, I'm coming!" , "Go ahead, it's you turn" , "Let's get a move on, people!" , "Get out of the way!" and "Pay attention!"
-- Where there is a will, there's a way. I've seen entire families, kids included, zipping through traffic on a single motorcycle; oh and incase you're wondering, Yes, ALL the furniture in your house can fit in and be transported by a
single vehicle.
And we must not forget the street vendors that add to the excitement. You can literally buy ANYTHING on the streets of Santo Domingo: puppies, fruit, phone cards and accessories, candy, water, Gatorade, peanuts, newspapers, coffee, shoes, window wipers, sugar cane, fish, sport pennants, ice cream, rugs, plants, banks...you name it, and you can buy it from your car window. All day long, no matter what street or time of day, I watch as people dodge traffic in the attempt to make a buck.
The second thing, garbage, is one of the sad things about Santo Domingo. This could be a pretty city if its citizens did more to keep it clean. But trash is so plentiful and no one seems to care. Entire road lanes have been overtaken by refuse and yet, no one comes to clean it up or haul it away. There's one street in particular that I ride down every day on the way to Jackie's that contains so much smoldering trash that Hernando and I have to roll up the windows and tuck our noses inside of our shirts. There are city trash collectors but they don't work very often because the government frequently forgets to pay them. And they only collect the trash that's in bags...not the trails and mounds that spill into streets and onto walkways.
Thirdly, if you ever get the chance to visit, don't be alarmed by the rifles. They're part of the staple uniform for any security guard...regardless if he's watching a bank, cars, or a daycare. :-)
Finally, the stray dogs....I wonder who has the higher population here, people or homeless pets. EVERYWHERE you look there are dogs lounging, running, digging in piles of trash, love making, or awaiting death. Santo Domingo is a dog catcher's paradise! But don't be alarmed, most of them won't bother you. But it's wise to carry a stick just incase.
First, transportation. There are rarely traffic jams because everyone just makes his or her own way. Suggested lanes are painted on the streets, but I think I am one of the few that notice them. Where two lanes of traffic should be exist four, complete with zigzagging motorcycles and street vendors. There are truly no words to accurately describe Dominican traffic, however, the phrase "organized chaos" does come to mind. Here are some examples of their driving "skills"....
-- One ways are only one ways if you allow them to be
-- You can park ANYWHERE at ANYTIME...even in the middle of a one-lane road during rush hour.
-- If you're driving a motorcycle, you're exempt from following any rules or laws. Please, do as you'd like.
-- Use you horn for any of the following reasons: "Excuse me, please" , "Don't pull out, I'm coming!" , "Go ahead, it's you turn" , "Let's get a move on, people!" , "Get out of the way!" and "Pay attention!"
-- Where there is a will, there's a way. I've seen entire families, kids included, zipping through traffic on a single motorcycle; oh and incase you're wondering, Yes, ALL the furniture in your house can fit in and be transported by a
single vehicle.And we must not forget the street vendors that add to the excitement. You can literally buy ANYTHING on the streets of Santo Domingo: puppies, fruit, phone cards and accessories, candy, water, Gatorade, peanuts, newspapers, coffee, shoes, window wipers, sugar cane, fish, sport pennants, ice cream, rugs, plants, banks...you name it, and you can buy it from your car window. All day long, no matter what street or time of day, I watch as people dodge traffic in the attempt to make a buck.
The second thing, garbage, is one of the sad things about Santo Domingo. This could be a pretty city if its citizens did more to keep it clean. But trash is so plentiful and no one seems to care. Entire road lanes have been overtaken by refuse and yet, no one comes to clean it up or haul it away. There's one street in particular that I ride down every day on the way to Jackie's that contains so much smoldering trash that Hernando and I have to roll up the windows and tuck our noses inside of our shirts. There are city trash collectors but they don't work very often because the government frequently forgets to pay them. And they only collect the trash that's in bags...not the trails and mounds that spill into streets and onto walkways.
Thirdly, if you ever get the chance to visit, don't be alarmed by the rifles. They're part of the staple uniform for any security guard...regardless if he's watching a bank, cars, or a daycare. :-)
Finally, the stray dogs....I wonder who has the higher population here, people or homeless pets. EVERYWHERE you look there are dogs lounging, running, digging in piles of trash, love making, or awaiting death. Santo Domingo is a dog catcher's paradise! But don't be alarmed, most of them won't bother you. But it's wise to carry a stick just incase.
Monday, November 3, 2008
The God of ALL Nations
"By the means of people speaking strange languages
I will speak to my people, says the Lord."
1 Corinthians 14:21
Saturday morning, I walked my neighborhood in search of a church. After nearly giving up, I finally found one. I was hot, sweaty and tired, but felt a twinge of hope knowing that I could finally attend services!
Several hours later, an acquaintance stopped by for a Spanish/English lesson and spotted the church bulletin laying on the table, "You're Catholic?" he asked. "Because this is for a Catholic church." Imagine my disappointment!
After he left, I made a couple more phone calls in desperation. It was now getting late, and I didn't have time to walk the neighborhood again. The calls were all dead ends and I thought I would spend yet another Sunday listening to I-pod worship music and a pre-recorded sermon.
And then the doorbell rang.
It was a couple that live upstairs, who had received the brownies and wanted to say thank you. The husband, Renee, informed me that he and wife are both Christians and told me to take comfort knowing that I have family just a few floors away. My heart leapt to my throat. Almost too quickly I asked, "Do you have a local church?"
He smiled and said, "Yes. We go to church five blocks away. Would you like to go with us tomorrow night?"
I could barely contain my excitement as I instantly accepted the invitation!
And so, at promptly 5 p.m. last night, Renee, his wife Katherine and their three children, Renee (age 13), Salma (4) and Camila (2) escorted me to Ministerios Betel (www.ministeriosbetel.com). It was a long service, nearly 3 hours, and although I only understood bits and pieces of the sermon, I was so happy to once again be in the House of God!
I was warmly welcomed by many and enjoyed the sounds of my heavy accented Spanish mixing with the beautiful tones of the Dominicans while we worshipped; Two countries, two languages, and One Mighty God.
As Renee sat beside me, he whispered, "Tasha, this was all prepared for you by God. He had this made for you long before you even knew it existed. And all this time, that you've been looking, it's been so close."
Oh Jesus, I thank you! You know my heart, my fears, my needs, and my desires. Before I was even born, you knew what my days would hold. Thank you O Lord for the life you have given me! You are so much more than my tiny mind can understand and there's NOTHING I can give you that you don't already have. But thank you Jesus, oh thank you, for still loving me! And Lord, thank you for Renee, Katherine, their children, and their church. Please Father, bless them!! Thank you Jesus, oh thank you.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Baked With Love
I will admit it....I am a procrastinator.
At least with some things.
Recently, I have been procrastinating making brownies.
Sounds weird, yes, but the brownies were an outreach idea that was launched last week when the team was here. We decided I needed to connect with my neighbors, and what better way to do that then to give a present? This is when brownies entered the picture...
The team bought all the supplies and allowed me to do the rest.
This week I've been busy teaching Jackie's kids and preparing lesson plans, so baking three batches of brownies wasn't a priority. However, I did make attempts to work on the project. On Tuesday, I walked to a store and bought cake pans. I spent all afternoon on Wednesday baking and wraping the brownies. With each packaged, I included a note (in Spanish) that said: Hi! My name is Tasha. I am a missionary from the United States. I am new to this country and speak a little Spanish. But I want to learn more Spanish, find a church that is nearby, and meet the people who live close to me. I live in apartment E-1. I hope to meet you soon! God Bless you!"
Thursday afternoon arrived and I knew it was time to deliver the baked goods. I couldn't put off the task much longer if wanted the sweets to still be fresh. Not to mention that I didn't want to compete with Halloween because of culture reasons.
At 2pm I got came home from Jackie's and attempted to make lunch. However, within 10 minutes of being home, the power cut off. This is not uncommon; electricity outrages are the norm here, but usually my generator kicks on and still runs the lights and fans. But not even these basics were functioning. By three o'clock the temperature in my apartment was a stifling 85 degrees. It started raining and I justified waiting on the brownie delivery because it would be easier to do it when the rain stopped...and I wanted a nap.
Two hours later the electricity STILL had not come on and I found it impossible to sleep with sweat rolling down my forehead. Just after five, the rain ceased and I felt it was time. I said a quick prayer, asking for favor and courage to meet my neighbors. I was nervous because of my limited Spanish skills.
And so, just before 5:30, I stepped across the cultural threshold of my apartment and literally ran into Jose, the maintence guy. Without requesting any help, he took it upon himself to lead me door-to-door with the brownies in tow. He showed me which apartments are occupied and which ones are empty (something I never thought about). He allowed me to talk in broken Spanish but filled in the gaps when necessary. Those that were home were incredibly receptive to the gifts and although I couldn't understand everything they said, their smiles and hugs conveyed enough.
I also left several packages on the doorsteps of occupied apartments where no one was home. And last night, three families stopped by to say thank you! It was incredible!
A guy who lives next door (who speaks great English!), welcomed me into his home and introduced me to his wife and their two children. A family of three, who lives upstairs, stopped by to shake hands and say that if I need anything, just ask! And finally, the woman across the hall came over and gave me her phone number and directions to a local church. It was SUCH a God thing!!
Please pray that relationships with these people and their families would continue to be built. I want to know their names, their childen, and to be accepted into their families.
God is here, and He's opening doors!
At least with some things.
Recently, I have been procrastinating making brownies.
Sounds weird, yes, but the brownies were an outreach idea that was launched last week when the team was here. We decided I needed to connect with my neighbors, and what better way to do that then to give a present? This is when brownies entered the picture...
The team bought all the supplies and allowed me to do the rest.
This week I've been busy teaching Jackie's kids and preparing lesson plans, so baking three batches of brownies wasn't a priority. However, I did make attempts to work on the project. On Tuesday, I walked to a store and bought cake pans. I spent all afternoon on Wednesday baking and wraping the brownies. With each packaged, I included a note (in Spanish) that said: Hi! My name is Tasha. I am a missionary from the United States. I am new to this country and speak a little Spanish. But I want to learn more Spanish, find a church that is nearby, and meet the people who live close to me. I live in apartment E-1. I hope to meet you soon! God Bless you!"
Thursday afternoon arrived and I knew it was time to deliver the baked goods. I couldn't put off the task much longer if wanted the sweets to still be fresh. Not to mention that I didn't want to compete with Halloween because of culture reasons.
At 2pm I got came home from Jackie's and attempted to make lunch. However, within 10 minutes of being home, the power cut off. This is not uncommon; electricity outrages are the norm here, but usually my generator kicks on and still runs the lights and fans. But not even these basics were functioning. By three o'clock the temperature in my apartment was a stifling 85 degrees. It started raining and I justified waiting on the brownie delivery because it would be easier to do it when the rain stopped...and I wanted a nap.
Two hours later the electricity STILL had not come on and I found it impossible to sleep with sweat rolling down my forehead. Just after five, the rain ceased and I felt it was time. I said a quick prayer, asking for favor and courage to meet my neighbors. I was nervous because of my limited Spanish skills.
And so, just before 5:30, I stepped across the cultural threshold of my apartment and literally ran into Jose, the maintence guy. Without requesting any help, he took it upon himself to lead me door-to-door with the brownies in tow. He showed me which apartments are occupied and which ones are empty (something I never thought about). He allowed me to talk in broken Spanish but filled in the gaps when necessary. Those that were home were incredibly receptive to the gifts and although I couldn't understand everything they said, their smiles and hugs conveyed enough.
I also left several packages on the doorsteps of occupied apartments where no one was home. And last night, three families stopped by to say thank you! It was incredible!
A guy who lives next door (who speaks great English!), welcomed me into his home and introduced me to his wife and their two children. A family of three, who lives upstairs, stopped by to shake hands and say that if I need anything, just ask! And finally, the woman across the hall came over and gave me her phone number and directions to a local church. It was SUCH a God thing!!
Please pray that relationships with these people and their families would continue to be built. I want to know their names, their childen, and to be accepted into their families.
God is here, and He's opening doors!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Exhausted!
Today has been utterly amazing. I'm so tired part of me doesn't want to type this blog, but I know it's incredibly important so I’m going to find the energy.
For those who have been following my journey, we have reached an incredibly wonderful place - the point of WORK!! THANK YOU JESUS!!
After two days of sulking and feeling alone, God answered our prayers and brought me a day so full of activity that the only thing I long for is my bed. :-) Before I jump to the good parts though, let's back up a bit….
Jackie and Hernando were supposed to come over last night to have dinner and enjoy each other's company. By three o'clock, I hadn't heard from them and was beginning to worry that I was going to be stood up. I tried calling but didn’t have much luck. Hernando's phone went straight to a recorded message in Spanish and Jackie's phone was answered by someone who claimed they didn't know who she was!!
By five, I had given up that they were coming and was frustrated and disappointed. I thought, "You mean to tell me NOTHING has changed?! Still?!"
Two hours later, Jackie called and vehemently apologized for not doing so sooner. She hadn't been feeling well all day and a nurse suggested she spend the afternoon resting and sleeping. Hernando's phone had been turned off so it wouldn't wake her and her phone was being fixed (explaining the recorded message and the strange man). She said sorry over and over, asking if everything was alright and repeatedly saying how much she loves me, how proud she is of me, and how much she needs me. She continued by saying that after the team and I left on Friday, she prayed and God told her that all the communication problems are things the devil has put in our way to slow us down and to stop what God wants to do.
Jackie said that she felt convicted that it wasn't something wrong with her or with me, and that more than ever before, we need to become a team. She stated that she wants to spend one day a week talking, praying, and really building a relationship. I can't tell you how excited all of this makes me!! It was like all my prayers were being answered at once!
And today! WOW! Hernando picked me up at 7:45 and the minute I stepped in the door at Jackie's I began teaching. I had VERY little planned but ended up giving 5 HOURS of lessons!! God is good! Before I left this morning, I prayed, asking for patience and wisdom. I was a bit nervous because I have NO teaching experience and the only materials I had were some flashcards I made while passing time at Beth's.
Upon my arrival, I was given a whole arsenal of supplies that Jackie gathered last night. Whole slew of materials awaited me including crayons, books, more flashcards, pencils, and notebook paper! And God used everything during my five hour session with the kids! We practiced colors, parts of the body, numbers, the English alphabet, spelling, matching, and math. Although trying and sometimes overwhelming (being the only teacher amongst 30 kids is EXHAUSTING) it was a wonderful day!
I was dropped off just before two and have spent the last several hours making lesson plans for tomorrow!
And now, at 8:15, I'm ready for bed! :-)
For those who have been following my journey, we have reached an incredibly wonderful place - the point of WORK!! THANK YOU JESUS!!
After two days of sulking and feeling alone, God answered our prayers and brought me a day so full of activity that the only thing I long for is my bed. :-) Before I jump to the good parts though, let's back up a bit….
Jackie and Hernando were supposed to come over last night to have dinner and enjoy each other's company. By three o'clock, I hadn't heard from them and was beginning to worry that I was going to be stood up. I tried calling but didn’t have much luck. Hernando's phone went straight to a recorded message in Spanish and Jackie's phone was answered by someone who claimed they didn't know who she was!!
By five, I had given up that they were coming and was frustrated and disappointed. I thought, "You mean to tell me NOTHING has changed?! Still?!"
Two hours later, Jackie called and vehemently apologized for not doing so sooner. She hadn't been feeling well all day and a nurse suggested she spend the afternoon resting and sleeping. Hernando's phone had been turned off so it wouldn't wake her and her phone was being fixed (explaining the recorded message and the strange man). She said sorry over and over, asking if everything was alright and repeatedly saying how much she loves me, how proud she is of me, and how much she needs me. She continued by saying that after the team and I left on Friday, she prayed and God told her that all the communication problems are things the devil has put in our way to slow us down and to stop what God wants to do.
Jackie said that she felt convicted that it wasn't something wrong with her or with me, and that more than ever before, we need to become a team. She stated that she wants to spend one day a week talking, praying, and really building a relationship. I can't tell you how excited all of this makes me!! It was like all my prayers were being answered at once!
And today! WOW! Hernando picked me up at 7:45 and the minute I stepped in the door at Jackie's I began teaching. I had VERY little planned but ended up giving 5 HOURS of lessons!! God is good! Before I left this morning, I prayed, asking for patience and wisdom. I was a bit nervous because I have NO teaching experience and the only materials I had were some flashcards I made while passing time at Beth's.
Upon my arrival, I was given a whole arsenal of supplies that Jackie gathered last night. Whole slew of materials awaited me including crayons, books, more flashcards, pencils, and notebook paper! And God used everything during my five hour session with the kids! We practiced colors, parts of the body, numbers, the English alphabet, spelling, matching, and math. Although trying and sometimes overwhelming (being the only teacher amongst 30 kids is EXHAUSTING) it was a wonderful day!
I was dropped off just before two and have spent the last several hours making lesson plans for tomorrow!
And now, at 8:15, I'm ready for bed! :-)
Sunday, October 26, 2008
My Life Song
"I Am"
If you ask me to leap
Out of my boat on the crashing waves
If You ask me to go
Preach to the lost world that Jesus saves
I'll go, but I cannot go alone
Cause I know I'm nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong
Cause when I'm weak,
You make me strong
When I'm blind,
You shine Your light on me
Cause I'll never get by
living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that you want me
So I'll stand on Your truth,
and I'll fight with Your strength
Until You bring the victory,
by the power of Christ in me.
If You ask me to run
And carry Your light into foreign land
If You ask me to fight
Deliver Your people from Satan's hand
To reach out with Your hands
I'll go but I cannot go alone
Cause I know I'm nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong
To learn through Your eyes
To love with the love of a savior
To feel with Your heart
And to think with Your mind
I'd give my last breath for Your glory.
--Casting Crowns--
Saturday, October 25, 2008
A Servant of the Most High God
"The LORD foils the plans of the nations;
He thwarts the purposes of his peoples.
But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever."
Psalm 33:10-11
He thwarts the purposes of his peoples.
But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever."
Psalm 33:10-11
I came across this verse just a few hours ago, when I was really struggling to remain positive. A few people from the church spent the previous four days here, trying to iron out a work schedule for me and attempting to figure out what we should do next. Some possibilities discussed were sending me a local university to take classes and meet students, volunteering at a nearby daycare, starting some community outreach projects, teaming up with some other organization that's already in the area, and even bring me home.
I'm sure their trip wasn't everything they expected...in fact, it wasn't what I expected either. We had a car and driver at our disposal, and yet, we STILL struggled to do something productive! Emotions and stress were running high for everyone. We tried many times and ways to get a hold of Jackie but weren't having much luck until last night, when thanks to Beth, we were able to meet with Jackie and sort out some of the miscommunication problems she and I have been having.
The new plan is that on most days, Hernando will pick me up by 8:15 in the morning and drop me back off in the early afternoon. While at Jackie's, I will teach English to the kids and some days, I will go with them to the communities to deliver food, medicine, and other supplies. On the days that Hernando can't come get me, I may be able to take a taxi (although that could get expensive) or I may be able to volunteer at the daycare mentioned earlier.
It sounds like a great plan, and I left Jackie's with hope that things will start to improve. However, this morning, after taking Jess and Leigh to the airport, I came home with a huge sense of emptiness. The house seemed extra quiet, and everywhere I looked, there were reminders of where they had been...and where I was forced to stay. I felt utterly alone.
After a little while of self-loathing and some tears, I realized something...
This whole time I've been praying for strength, provisions, favor, courage, work, comfort, and peace. And while all these things are very important and definitely needed, I wasn't asking for them because they would further God's kingdom or impact the Dominican people, I was praying them for me. I wanted to feel better and productive.
Although the Bible promises that what we ask for in Jesus's name will be given to us, I have failed in a major way. For the past six weeks, I have been selfish, even if I didn't acknowledge or realize it. I'm ashamed to admit this, but sometimes I feel like God owes me something for coming here. I know it's completely absurd and ridiculous, but it's easy for my sinful nature to take over and say, "Look at everything you've left behind: your family, your friends, your boyfriend...there's so much else you could be doing! And yet you're here and not doing a blasted thing! This isn't what you signed up for! You deserve better!"
And yet, this is EXACTLY what I signed up for!! I have prayed for YEARS to be a missionary and God has heard my cries! He delivered the exact thing I desired for so long. And on top of that, when I became a Christian four years ago, I gave God permission (not that He needed it) to rule my life. I said where you go, I will go - whatever you ask, I will do. And He has asked me to come here. So everything that the Dominican Republic includes is part of the deal. Good or bad. Happy or sad. It's all part of the same package.
But God is sovern. He is the creator of the EVERYTHING and yet, he has shed mercy on me. If he had been any other king I would have undoubtedly been killed or jailed long ago for my disobedience and greed. And yet the BIGGEST and most POWERFUL King of ALL has said that he will overlook all my mistakes and still accept me as his servant. So often I forget that small fact. I'm HIS servant. Not the other way around.
And so, after realizing how selfish and spoiled I've been , I've asked for forgiveness and have made a promise that I will stop trying to implement MY plans and what I think is best, but instead, I will truly submit to the will of Christ. What ever that might be.
And so, after realizing how selfish and spoiled I've been , I've asked for forgiveness and have made a promise that I will stop trying to implement MY plans and what I think is best, but instead, I will truly submit to the will of Christ. What ever that might be.
I ask that you join me in prayer. Pray that I will be obedient, submissive, sensitive to His spirit, and courageous in taking the steps that great faith requires.
May the God of the Universe and the King of all Kings be glorified in the way that His heart desires.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
A Small Token
Sometimes God gives us a small token of love to remind us that we are not alone. I experienced such a gift today.
For the past couple of weeks my boyfriend, Daniel, and I have been using an internet service called Skype to talk. We both have web cams and can "see" one another in addition to hearing each other's voices. It has been an AMAZING blessing! We can talk as long as we want, absolutely free, and I get to SEE him!!
Well tonight God gave me an extra special gift. Before moving to the Dominican Republic nearly 6 weeks ago, I attend three church services a week: Christ United Methodist's contemporary service on Sunday mornings, and two campus ministries called Refuge and Experience the Life (ETL) on Thursday and Sunday nights respectively. Since moving here however, I have yet to step inside of a sanctuary. I've tried to compensate for the lack of fellowship by spending daily time in the Bible and in prayer, but I can still sense that my spirit desires more.
Thankfully, through the amazing blessing of technology, I recently discovered that I can download my church's sermons and listen to them here!! It takes awhile to download the message, but it's worth it! Today, for the first time in weeks, I had "church!" I chose a few songs from my I-pod and listened to a sermon that was delivered weeks ago at CUMC. It was great.
And if that weren't enough, I was able to "attend" ETL!! Unsure if Skype would work or not on campus, Daniel took his laptop and webcam to ETL and I got to see many of the people that I so desperately miss! It was amazing!! During worship the Holy Spirit overwhelmed me as I realized that the praise my friends were singing on a campus in South Carolina was reaching the heavens and the nations!! Their voices were being broadcast all the way across an ocean and into a tiny apartment in Santo Domingo!! WHAT A THOUGHT!! I couldn't help but cry sweet tears of joy and thanksgiving.
God is sooo good!!
And so I leave you with this thought: wherever you are, sing songs of praise...and sing them loudly! Because your voice may be traveling farther than you could ever imagine. :-)
For the past couple of weeks my boyfriend, Daniel, and I have been using an internet service called Skype to talk. We both have web cams and can "see" one another in addition to hearing each other's voices. It has been an AMAZING blessing! We can talk as long as we want, absolutely free, and I get to SEE him!!
Well tonight God gave me an extra special gift. Before moving to the Dominican Republic nearly 6 weeks ago, I attend three church services a week: Christ United Methodist's contemporary service on Sunday mornings, and two campus ministries called Refuge and Experience the Life (ETL) on Thursday and Sunday nights respectively. Since moving here however, I have yet to step inside of a sanctuary. I've tried to compensate for the lack of fellowship by spending daily time in the Bible and in prayer, but I can still sense that my spirit desires more.
Thankfully, through the amazing blessing of technology, I recently discovered that I can download my church's sermons and listen to them here!! It takes awhile to download the message, but it's worth it! Today, for the first time in weeks, I had "church!" I chose a few songs from my I-pod and listened to a sermon that was delivered weeks ago at CUMC. It was great.
And if that weren't enough, I was able to "attend" ETL!! Unsure if Skype would work or not on campus, Daniel took his laptop and webcam to ETL and I got to see many of the people that I so desperately miss! It was amazing!! During worship the Holy Spirit overwhelmed me as I realized that the praise my friends were singing on a campus in South Carolina was reaching the heavens and the nations!! Their voices were being broadcast all the way across an ocean and into a tiny apartment in Santo Domingo!! WHAT A THOUGHT!! I couldn't help but cry sweet tears of joy and thanksgiving.
God is sooo good!!
And so I leave you with this thought: wherever you are, sing songs of praise...and sing them loudly! Because your voice may be traveling farther than you could ever imagine. :-)
Friday, October 17, 2008
Broadcasting Live...
FROM MY OWN HOUSE!!
That's right, the time has finally arrived and I'm in the apartment!!
I'm dead tired because I spent ALL day cleaning, organizing, and unpacking, but as I look around, it feels good to know that everything's where it should be. I know many of you have been praying for me over the past month and a half, and I'd like to take this opportunity to say thank you - Not only because I'm all settled into the missionary house, but because my heart, spirit, and health are all in a good place.
I'm still trying to establish a working schedule but it is incredibly hard when Satan is doing everything possible to sabotage God's work. Jackie still doesn't have a functional vehicle and we've been unable to work in the communities for nearly a month. However, God is still moving mightily in her home because the conjunctivitis is nearly gone and last week, seven new kids were brought to her!! They range in age from 2 months - 10 years old. Although Jackie says they're adjusting well, all of them came with severe health problems including autism, hyperactivity, bronchitis, malnutrition, and one little boy is blind in one eye.
Please pray for these babies and the mothers that gave them away. All the women are prostitutes. God's presence is needed so desperately here! But I know that nothing is impossible and that He longs to move mightily in this place. To Him be the glory, forever and ever. Amen.
pictures of the apartment:
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
A Full Circle
My Coastal email has not been working for some time. I finally got it fixed today and was in the process of deleting a MASSIVE amount of junk mail (281 messages to be exact) when an email titled "from Uganda" caught my attention.
I decided to spare it from the trash bin and opened it to find an INCREDIBLE blessing! Last summer, while in Uganda, I fell in love with a baby girl named Olga. She stole my heart and I cried bittersweet tears the day I had to say goodbye. She was the subject of an article I wrote for Tempo Magazine and her face adorned the walls of my old bedroom and my mom's office. Over the past year I have contiuned to pray for her and although it's been many months since I've seen her, the longing to hold one more time has never left my heart.
Although simply titled and quickly written, the "from Uganda" email instantly created a spring of tears - it was from Olga's adoptive parents!! They had stumbled onto the website I designed (ww2.coastal.edu/tmsuther) as my senior thesis which detailed my trip to Uganda and sent me a letter to say that Olga, now Elianah, is being adopted!! As a matter of fact, TODAY is her court date!! God is SO good!
Won't you join me in thanksgiving? God has protected this baby girl and through a crazy string of coincidence, has joined me to her life again. Please pray for her new family, the McCourtney's, as they attempt to finalize the adoption and bring home Elianah for good! Also, pray that the transition would be easy on both Elianah, her five new siblings, and her loving parents! May the glory rest at the throne of Christ!
I decided to spare it from the trash bin and opened it to find an INCREDIBLE blessing! Last summer, while in Uganda, I fell in love with a baby girl named Olga. She stole my heart and I cried bittersweet tears the day I had to say goodbye. She was the subject of an article I wrote for Tempo Magazine and her face adorned the walls of my old bedroom and my mom's office. Over the past year I have contiuned to pray for her and although it's been many months since I've seen her, the longing to hold one more time has never left my heart.
Although simply titled and quickly written, the "from Uganda" email instantly created a spring of tears - it was from Olga's adoptive parents!! They had stumbled onto the website I designed (ww2.coastal.edu/tmsuther) as my senior thesis which detailed my trip to Uganda and sent me a letter to say that Olga, now Elianah, is being adopted!! As a matter of fact, TODAY is her court date!! God is SO good!
Won't you join me in thanksgiving? God has protected this baby girl and through a crazy string of coincidence, has joined me to her life again. Please pray for her new family, the McCourtney's, as they attempt to finalize the adoption and bring home Elianah for good! Also, pray that the transition would be easy on both Elianah, her five new siblings, and her loving parents! May the glory rest at the throne of Christ!
Olga and Me last summer at Amani
And yes, I'm aware that this doesn't directly pertain to the Dominican Republic, but global missions, and the growing number of orphans that despretely need love, is essentially the reason I am here. So Olga's story, and the millions who long to be adopted, are so deeply bound in my heart that I can't separate the two.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Taken Home
I received an email this morning from Jackie that said the following, "I AM SORRY TO COMUNICATE THIS, BUT THE BABY THAT WE WERE HELPING , THE ONE WITH THE BRAIN OUT, JUST DIED. I CRY SO MUCH, BUT IT IS NOT ME WHO DECIDES WHO LIVES AND WHO DIES, SO I JUST ASK THE LORD TO:
#1 GIVE THE MOTHER STRENGTH TO COUP WITH THIS PAIN
#2 ALSO FOR US TO HAVE STRENGTH BECAUSE WE REALLY GOT ATTACHED TO THE BABY. I WAS PRAYING FOR THE LORD TO SAVE HER, WE EVEN WERE TRYING TO FIND SOME PLACE THAT COULD WORK WITH HER , BUT GOD DECIDED TO TAKE HER HOME WITH HIM.
SO I BETTER RESPECT THE LORD, NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURTS. SORRY TO GIVE YOU THIS TERRIBLE BAD NEWS."
So I pray for you little Ana Maria, that your journey to Heaven would be beautiful and that you would get to kiss the hands that created you. I pray for you mommy and your big brother and that they would grow closer to Jesus as they think about your life and miss you. As much as our hearts hurt knowing that you're no longer here, I pray that we would all thank God for healing you in His own mighty way. We love you Ana Maria.
#1 GIVE THE MOTHER STRENGTH TO COUP WITH THIS PAIN
#2 ALSO FOR US TO HAVE STRENGTH BECAUSE WE REALLY GOT ATTACHED TO THE BABY. I WAS PRAYING FOR THE LORD TO SAVE HER, WE EVEN WERE TRYING TO FIND SOME PLACE THAT COULD WORK WITH HER , BUT GOD DECIDED TO TAKE HER HOME WITH HIM.
SO I BETTER RESPECT THE LORD, NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURTS. SORRY TO GIVE YOU THIS TERRIBLE BAD NEWS."
So I pray for you little Ana Maria, that your journey to Heaven would be beautiful and that you would get to kiss the hands that created you. I pray for you mommy and your big brother and that they would grow closer to Jesus as they think about your life and miss you. As much as our hearts hurt knowing that you're no longer here, I pray that we would all thank God for healing you in His own mighty way. We love you Ana Maria.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
WARNING!
The following post contains very graphic pictures.
I just received an email from Jackie asking all of us to pray. A few weeks ago she told me the story of a precious baby girl named Ana Maria who despretely needs medical treatment. Ana was born about six weeks ago to a beautiful, young, Christian woman.
The mother already has a three-year-old boy and was anxiously anticipating the arrival of her baby girl. Sadly, what should have been a joyous occasion was quickly filled with horror when precious Ana Maria finall
y made her entrance to the world.
You see, while still in the womb, the baby's skull failed to properly form and now, her little brain is literally resting outside of her face, on top of her forehead.
y made her entrance to the world.You see, while still in the womb, the baby's skull failed to properly form and now, her little brain is literally resting outside of her face, on top of her forehead.
Google has revealed that Ana's condition is called an Encephalocele and is caused by pressure inside the skull reaching such a high level that the cranial tissue is forced out and then the protective layer of the brain grows over the protrusion. Doctors do not know what causes an encephalocele but it is extremely important to say that it is not related to anything her mother did or did not do during her pregancy. "In the U.S., encephaloceles occur in approximetely 1-4 per 10,000 live births" (Children's Hospital of Wisconsin). And although the condition could have been revealed in an ultrasound, Ana's mother couldn't afford one and nothing could have been done to reverse the condition while she was still in the womb.
Jackie is determined to help this mother in any way possible so she brings diapers, food, gauze, and the special ointment needed for Ana's head.
However, I beleive that we serve a HUGE God. A God that is bigger than finances, bigger than fears, and most certainly bigger than health issues. And so I'm not asking for money - I'm asking for prayers. I truly believe that Ana Maria's life can be saved if we lift her up and ask God to help us.
PLEASE PRAY!!
1) That the mother and family members of this little girl would be encouraged, strengthened, and blessed
2) For a team of doctors and surgeons to come and help save this baby's life
3) For the Lord to rain down blessings of protection, strength, and courage on this precious child.
I know that God has the capability to save Ana Maria's life without medical treatment, but I also know that He has the ability to move people's hearts into action!! So let's get to it!
Thank you and to God be the glory.
Tasha
Thank you and to God be the glory.
Tasha
Monday, October 6, 2008
Broken Cars, Infected Eyes, and a Joyous Spirit
I received an email from a very good friend of mine today informing me that he's been reading (and enjoying) my blog, but that he's still not sure what exactly I'm doing here. So incase you're wondering the same thing, please allow me explain:
Before moving to the Dominican Republic, I thought that I would spend most of my time in the "field," aka three communities where Jackie and Hernando help. When they go to these villages they bring water, clothes, shoes, medicine, the gospel, and anything that would be considered a bare necessity. In short, my role was to assist them in any way possible.
And on the days we weren't in one of the communities, I planned on teaching English classes to Jackie's kids.
Sounds simple enough, right?
Well I've been here just shy of one month and in the past four weeks, I've spent two days at the garbage dump and four days at Jackie's. Yes, that's it. But please hear me when I say that it hasn't been by choice!
You see, Jackie and Hernando have three vehicles. And all three are broken. Jackie's House is way on the other side of town - about the distance from Myrtle Beach to Aynor or North Branch to Davison - so I can't walk there. And taking public transportation isn't an option because 1) it would be very expensive and 2) I don't speak Spanish yet, nor do I have a phone, so if the driver should get lost we'd be in big trouble.
And Jackie has been dealing with her own set or problems like trying to get her nephew enrolled in school and trying to figure out what's wrong with the cars. It seemed like things were getting better until Monday when I was notified that several of Jackie's kids had woken up with a severe case of conjunctivitis and that the doctor recommended no one enter or leave the house for at least two weeks.
Are you getting a better picture on why things have been so difficult? :-)
And so, lately I've been spending my afternoons preparing for my future English classes, completing tasks Beth can't seem to find the time to do, getting my apartment situation figured out, and most importantly, spending some much needed time with God. I've renewed my habit of having a daily quiet time and it's been wonderful. I've been reminded how utterly important it is to seek Him first everyday. The hour or so we spend together in the mornings blesses me with the patience, hope, wisdom, and peace that gets me through the unexpected events each day brings.
So my time is not being wasted.
Before moving to the Dominican Republic, I thought that I would spend most of my time in the "field," aka three communities where Jackie and Hernando help. When they go to these villages they bring water, clothes, shoes, medicine, the gospel, and anything that would be considered a bare necessity. In short, my role was to assist them in any way possible.
And on the days we weren't in one of the communities, I planned on teaching English classes to Jackie's kids.
Sounds simple enough, right?
Well I've been here just shy of one month and in the past four weeks, I've spent two days at the garbage dump and four days at Jackie's. Yes, that's it. But please hear me when I say that it hasn't been by choice!
You see, Jackie and Hernando have three vehicles. And all three are broken. Jackie's House is way on the other side of town - about the distance from Myrtle Beach to Aynor or North Branch to Davison - so I can't walk there. And taking public transportation isn't an option because 1) it would be very expensive and 2) I don't speak Spanish yet, nor do I have a phone, so if the driver should get lost we'd be in big trouble.
And Jackie has been dealing with her own set or problems like trying to get her nephew enrolled in school and trying to figure out what's wrong with the cars. It seemed like things were getting better until Monday when I was notified that several of Jackie's kids had woken up with a severe case of conjunctivitis and that the doctor recommended no one enter or leave the house for at least two weeks.
Are you getting a better picture on why things have been so difficult? :-)
And so, lately I've been spending my afternoons preparing for my future English classes, completing tasks Beth can't seem to find the time to do, getting my apartment situation figured out, and most importantly, spending some much needed time with God. I've renewed my habit of having a daily quiet time and it's been wonderful. I've been reminded how utterly important it is to seek Him first everyday. The hour or so we spend together in the mornings blesses me with the patience, hope, wisdom, and peace that gets me through the unexpected events each day brings.
So my time is not being wasted.
However, today did contain a much needed chance to get out of the house. I'll save you the details and simply say that apartment progress is coming along nicely and if all goes well tomorrow, I may have the keys in hand by Wednesday! Praise the Lord!!
Who knows, maybe the next post will come from my new home!! adf
Thursday, October 2, 2008
The Ride of a Lifetime
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
James 1:2-4
So after that first incredible, terrifying decent, any decent roller coaster offers another hill that seems to stretch to the skies. The momentum from the first fall is so great that the second mountain is reached in a fraction of a second.
That is how I feel.
After yesterday, and the incredible sense of solitude and hopelessness I experienced, God has answered both your prayers and mine and has sent His comfort. Today has been amazing. I feel like I've walked with angels and that my heart has been resurrected. Although I would like to consider myself a writer, there are no words to describe the breath I have been given. In less than 24 hours I have catapulted from the lowest point of this adventure so far to possibly the highest.
Upon the suggestion from a very close friend, I spent today praying and really seeking Christ. And it has been a wonderful day! It's always a beautiful thing to experience a Jesus-encounter, but after such a hard week, I would have been willing to accept just about any sort of spiritual nourishment.
I haven't been to church since I left and I've been depending on my I-pod and personal quiet times to connect me to God. After three weeks, I realize why the Bible places such emphasizes on fellowship. It's exhausting trying to live and serve the kingdom on your own!
I've always thought that a person's faith was dependent on only oneself and Christ. The church, Bible studies, and other types of accountability were meant to encourage and guide, but it was truly up to the sincerity of the individual. But day after day I was still in a rut. It didn't seem to matter how much I prayed, read, or cried, God was no closer.
But this morning, that changed. For the first time in weeks I felt a TRUE connection to the God who created me. It was AMAZING. As I prayed, I felt that if I reached out I would be able to feel the train of His robe and if I spoke, I would be able to hear His voice. It was like I had received permission to enter the innermost chambers of Heaven and God was there, just waiting for me. He whispered to my heart and the peace and joy that came in those early morning hours was the pentacle of pure beauty. And Although I know He felt close enough to physically grasp, I was too awestruck to move.
This is where I feel like I should write a thank you. I know that many of you were praying for me yesterday and I received lots of emails and scripture references. And I do not take those for granted. But there is nothing I can say that will express my gratitude to my King. The one who has brought me comfort, joy, gladness, peace, and assurance.
I came to the Dominican Republic to serve Him. And if I happen to impact a life along the way, or establish a few relationships, than all the better. But I can now say that Christ Jesus dwells in this place. And He's showing me just how beautiful that is.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
How do you say, "this isn't how it's supposed to be" in Spanish?
As I type this I'm simultaneously wiping tears from my cheeks. However, I have allowed one or two to slip by, and they're now soaking the collar of my t-shirt, making the dark blue appear even darker in places.
My stomach is a pit of knots, each one offering no condolences for the plethora of emotions I'm dealing with.
I debating on whether or not I should even post this because it seems out of character (speaking of the girl I was three weeks ago, not the the one I fear I have become). And a part of me shudders at throwing my words into cyberspace, warts and all.
But another part of me knows it must be done. That those of who are praying for me need to realize the battle you're a part of, and those who aren't praying, well maybe you will. But please know that blog is not a way for me to gain your sympathy or sorrows, who knows, maybe it's not for you at all.
I came here to work. For God, for the Dominican people, for the church, and yes, even for me. Those who are accustomed to serving know all two well how easily the vapor of "feeling good" can attach itself to you. It's similar to what I imagine a drug addict must feel as he snorts a line of cocaine. We all have fixes that must be administered to. Depending on the drug of choice, we receive titles such as crack head, alcoholic, or humanitarian.
Please hear me when I say this, I came here on more than a high. As I kissed Daniel farewell at the airport I knew this decision, this mission, and everything it would contain came from a source much deeper than my personal desires or needs. Was I excited? Yes. Nervous? Very. Humbled? Not yet. But now, three weeks after departing the United States, I'm beginning to wonder if the roller coaster will ever come to a stop? The top of the hills are wonderful, it seems like you can see the whole word from where you're perched, but the ride down is terrifying. What happens if you never stop? If instead of coasting up the next hill, and the one ofter that, the car you're ridding in gains too much momentum and you slam into the ground, instantly obliterating yourself and anyone who happens to be riding alongside you. You would never feel the pain of the crash because it would be over too quickly, but the terror of those final few seconds would be enough.
I know that's overly melodramatic but I'm leaving it. No use deleting a perfectly good metaphor.
My stomach is a pit of knots, each one offering no condolences for the plethora of emotions I'm dealing with.
I debating on whether or not I should even post this because it seems out of character (speaking of the girl I was three weeks ago, not the the one I fear I have become). And a part of me shudders at throwing my words into cyberspace, warts and all.
But another part of me knows it must be done. That those of who are praying for me need to realize the battle you're a part of, and those who aren't praying, well maybe you will. But please know that blog is not a way for me to gain your sympathy or sorrows, who knows, maybe it's not for you at all.
I came here to work. For God, for the Dominican people, for the church, and yes, even for me. Those who are accustomed to serving know all two well how easily the vapor of "feeling good" can attach itself to you. It's similar to what I imagine a drug addict must feel as he snorts a line of cocaine. We all have fixes that must be administered to. Depending on the drug of choice, we receive titles such as crack head, alcoholic, or humanitarian.
Please hear me when I say this, I came here on more than a high. As I kissed Daniel farewell at the airport I knew this decision, this mission, and everything it would contain came from a source much deeper than my personal desires or needs. Was I excited? Yes. Nervous? Very. Humbled? Not yet. But now, three weeks after departing the United States, I'm beginning to wonder if the roller coaster will ever come to a stop? The top of the hills are wonderful, it seems like you can see the whole word from where you're perched, but the ride down is terrifying. What happens if you never stop? If instead of coasting up the next hill, and the one ofter that, the car you're ridding in gains too much momentum and you slam into the ground, instantly obliterating yourself and anyone who happens to be riding alongside you. You would never feel the pain of the crash because it would be over too quickly, but the terror of those final few seconds would be enough.
I know that's overly melodramatic but I'm leaving it. No use deleting a perfectly good metaphor.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Up and Down and 'Round and 'Round
The first draft of this post was... well it wasn't me. Or at least not who I want to be. It detailed the past week, with it's heartaches and tears, and contained more complaints than I would like to admit. As I was re-reading it for grammatical mistakes I found myself bored. So please take it as a personal compliment that I'm rewritting it! :-)
Although this week was a hard one, I'm purposefully going to concentrate on the good things that have occured...
First, our work at La Duqueza (aka the garbage dump) was the highlight of the week. It was so nice to sweat and participate in hard, meaningful work. Unfortunetly, our return trip that was planned for Thursday was cancelled because both of Jackie's cars are broken. PLEASE be praying that they get fixed because we can't work without them!! There is a lot of supplies that need to go to the dump and to another community that Jackie works with, but we have no way of getting there!
In other news, the apartment is a sure thing!! We signed the papers yesterday and paid two deposits (the first and last month's rent). There's still a bit more paperwork to be completed this week and another payment that must be made before the apartment is officially mine, but the move-in date has been set for October 3rd!! PRAISE THE LORD!!
Starting tomorrow I hope to have a more regular schedule for my work at Jackie's House. The plan is that I will be picked up by 8 a.m. and will spend the rest of the morning bathing the children who are confined to wheelchairs. After lunch I hope to start some classes and find other activites to keep the kids and myseslf occupied. Sounds easy enough on paper (or in this case, on screen) but PLEASE pray for this as well. The organization of this entire country works in a choatic, spur of the moment sort of way, so the easy things are easiest are usually the most complicated.
But as always, I'll keep you posted!!
Although this week was a hard one, I'm purposefully going to concentrate on the good things that have occured...
First, our work at La Duqueza (aka the garbage dump) was the highlight of the week. It was so nice to sweat and participate in hard, meaningful work. Unfortunetly, our return trip that was planned for Thursday was cancelled because both of Jackie's cars are broken. PLEASE be praying that they get fixed because we can't work without them!! There is a lot of supplies that need to go to the dump and to another community that Jackie works with, but we have no way of getting there!
In other news, the apartment is a sure thing!! We signed the papers yesterday and paid two deposits (the first and last month's rent). There's still a bit more paperwork to be completed this week and another payment that must be made before the apartment is officially mine, but the move-in date has been set for October 3rd!! PRAISE THE LORD!!
Starting tomorrow I hope to have a more regular schedule for my work at Jackie's House. The plan is that I will be picked up by 8 a.m. and will spend the rest of the morning bathing the children who are confined to wheelchairs. After lunch I hope to start some classes and find other activites to keep the kids and myseslf occupied. Sounds easy enough on paper (or in this case, on screen) but PLEASE pray for this as well. The organization of this entire country works in a choatic, spur of the moment sort of way, so the easy things are easiest are usually the most complicated.
But as always, I'll keep you posted!!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Full Throttle Ahead
I've been here for exactly two weeks, and have been doing some kind of work each day, but still felt dissatisfied. I wasn't working hard and I wasn't sweating nearly enough. At least not for my tastes.
Well that changed today and I am very satisfied with what was accomplished. For the first time since my arrival I feel like I did what I came to do. Serve.
As hoped, I was able to go to the garbage dump and spent about five hours working with an international organization called SCORE. They had brought a team of roughly 40 people from Indiana to provide medical treatment (among other things) to the Dominican people and this morning we had the privilege of serving the Haitians as well.
Before leaving the house, Beth provided me with a quick list of vocabulary words that I was bound to hear throughout the day. They included phrases such as, "I have pain in my ___", "Are you pregnant?", and "what are your complaints?" What a blessing it was to have a quick debriefing before being let loose because I ended up translating!! Me of all people! The girl who has to think twice about everything she says before letting an "hola" escape her lips!
But Jackie said I made her very proud and although I still struggle, I'm learning!!
Besides fighting the heat, the hardest part of the day was witnessing the dental operations. SCORE had three dentists who pulled countless teeth over the course of five hours but one girl imparticular stole me heart. She was only 17 and had to have two teeth extracted. Th
ey were VERY difficult and she had tears in her eyes and was shaking the whole time. I held her hand and tried to calm her in my poorly articulated Spanish, but my heart broke for her. The dentist did the best he could with limited tools and space, but had to literally YANK on her teeth and even then they wouldn't come loose! It was so bad that all we could do was pray for her and finally, by the grace of God, they came free!
Besides teeth pulling, most of the other patients were being treated for skin rashes, parasites, headaches, itchiness, stomach pain, and vision problems. SCORE did a great job at organizing their projects and supplies and we utilized every inch of the small community building where we worked. If I had to guess, I think we saw at least 300 patients today.
Tomorrow, Jackie, Hernando and myself are supposed to go back and hand out clothes. What a feet that's going to be! With only three of us and hundreds of them, things could very easily get out of control. Not in a dangerous way, but I won't be surprised if complete chaos ensues at least half a dozen times. :-)
I'll keep ya posted!
Well that changed today and I am very satisfied with what was accomplished. For the first time since my arrival I feel like I did what I came to do. Serve.
As hoped, I was able to go to the garbage dump and spent about five hours working with an international organization called SCORE. They had brought a team of roughly 40 people from Indiana to provide medical treatment (among other things) to the Dominican people and this morning we had the privilege of serving the Haitians as well.
Before leaving the house, Beth provided me with a quick list of vocabulary words that I was bound to hear throughout the day. They included phrases such as, "I have pain in my ___", "Are you pregnant?", and "what are your complaints?" What a blessing it was to have a quick debriefing before being let loose because I ended up translating!! Me of all people! The girl who has to think twice about everything she says before letting an "hola" escape her lips!
But Jackie said I made her very proud and although I still struggle, I'm learning!!
Besides fighting the heat, the hardest part of the day was witnessing the dental operations. SCORE had three dentists who pulled countless teeth over the course of five hours but one girl imparticular stole me heart. She was only 17 and had to have two teeth extracted. Th
ey were VERY difficult and she had tears in her eyes and was shaking the whole time. I held her hand and tried to calm her in my poorly articulated Spanish, but my heart broke for her. The dentist did the best he could with limited tools and space, but had to literally YANK on her teeth and even then they wouldn't come loose! It was so bad that all we could do was pray for her and finally, by the grace of God, they came free!Besides teeth pulling, most of the other patients were being treated for skin rashes, parasites, headaches, itchiness, stomach pain, and vision problems. SCORE did a great job at organizing their projects and supplies and we utilized every inch of the small community building where we worked. If I had to guess, I think we saw at least 300 patients today.
Tomorrow, Jackie, Hernando and myself are supposed to go back and hand out clothes. What a feet that's going to be! With only three of us and hundreds of them, things could very easily get out of control. Not in a dangerous way, but I won't be surprised if complete chaos ensues at least half a dozen times. :-)
I'll keep ya posted!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Still Waiting...
It looks like the apartment I spoke about last time may be my new home. :-) We received confirmation from the church (thank you for all the prayers and support!!) and were faxed the necessary paperwork yesterday.
However, I'm waiting to say it's "mine" until I have the keys in hand. If all goes as planned, I should be able to move in on the first of October. Please keep the details in your prayers!
In other news, I haven't been able to do much work this week because of the all the rain and some complications on Jackie's end. She wanted to take clean water to the garbage dump community but the truck is broken. It was supposed to be fixed by yesterday, but like everything else in this country, "supposed to" is loosely associated with "maybe, perhaps" and "if you're lucky." So the water has been put on hold until further notice.
BUT! Supposedly I'm going with her in the morning to meet with some doctors who are going to perform physicals on all the kids at the dump. I'm apprehensive as to whether or not we'll actually get to do this, but excited at the possibility to get out of the house! If everything goes as planned, we'll be there all day because over 400 children live at the garbage dump!
I hope to be able to post pictures soon so those of you who are new to the site and the Dominican Republic can see what's going on down here. To give you a bit of history, the city garbage dump has become a refugee camp of-sorts for Haitians that are fleeing their country because of the civil war and hurricane damage. They come here, to Santo Domingo, and live amongst the trash - constructing their homes and diets out of anything they can find. The children are uneducated and malnourished, the mothers are desperate, and the fathers...well usually they aren't in the picture at all.
Jackie brings food, water, medicine, and anything she can to these people. I've been trying to figure out a way to end the cycle of poverty and give the people (more specifically, the children), some sort of skill that could earn them an income and add value to their lives. Some possibilities include raising chickens or making paper bead necklaces. I ask that each of you take a moment to ask God to bless me with wisdom, discernment, and guidance during this process.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for sincerely taking an interest in what God is doing here. Your support and encouragement mean more than you'll ever know. I promise to keep you posted.
In Christ,
Tasha
However, I'm waiting to say it's "mine" until I have the keys in hand. If all goes as planned, I should be able to move in on the first of October. Please keep the details in your prayers!
In other news, I haven't been able to do much work this week because of the all the rain and some complications on Jackie's end. She wanted to take clean water to the garbage dump community but the truck is broken. It was supposed to be fixed by yesterday, but like everything else in this country, "supposed to" is loosely associated with "maybe, perhaps" and "if you're lucky." So the water has been put on hold until further notice.
BUT! Supposedly I'm going with her in the morning to meet with some doctors who are going to perform physicals on all the kids at the dump. I'm apprehensive as to whether or not we'll actually get to do this, but excited at the possibility to get out of the house! If everything goes as planned, we'll be there all day because over 400 children live at the garbage dump!
I hope to be able to post pictures soon so those of you who are new to the site and the Dominican Republic can see what's going on down here. To give you a bit of history, the city garbage dump has become a refugee camp of-sorts for Haitians that are fleeing their country because of the civil war and hurricane damage. They come here, to Santo Domingo, and live amongst the trash - constructing their homes and diets out of anything they can find. The children are uneducated and malnourished, the mothers are desperate, and the fathers...well usually they aren't in the picture at all.
Jackie brings food, water, medicine, and anything she can to these people. I've been trying to figure out a way to end the cycle of poverty and give the people (more specifically, the children), some sort of skill that could earn them an income and add value to their lives. Some possibilities include raising chickens or making paper bead necklaces. I ask that each of you take a moment to ask God to bless me with wisdom, discernment, and guidance during this process.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for sincerely taking an interest in what God is doing here. Your support and encouragement mean more than you'll ever know. I promise to keep you posted.
In Christ,
Tasha
Friday, September 19, 2008
Una casa por favor
Hola chicas y chicos!
I hope this little note finds all of you doing well. First, I want to thank you so much for all of your prayers and letters of support. It really means a lot to know that I am supported back home and to know that Daniel and I are surrounded by all of your prayers.
I'm going to attempt to keep this short, but I'm a writer by nature, so please excuse any rambling....
I know that most of you know that about my house situation (in case you don't or have forgotten: for the last three months Jackie has been looking for me a place to stay and the house hunt has been going on full-time the last week and a half since I've been here but with little luck.) I've been continuously disappointed by high prices, false advertising, or other sudden changes.
Although it's been frustrating, I've learned a lot about the Dominican culture over the last week and the woman I'm staying with has been an incredible hostess.
BUT I dare to say that the house hunt MAY be over. (I'm trying not to get my hopes up until I have the keys in hand because you never know anything with this country!) I looked at the apartment this morning and we're going to call tomorrow to say that we want it so PLEASE BE PRAYING!! Pray that it's still available, that the land lord is willing to wait until the first of the month for me to fully pay and move in (I have to wait and receive my allowance from the church at the first of the month), and that all the details of moving go smoothly.
The apartment itself is in a very good area (as far as safety is concerned), is on the first floor (to help move in all those heavy and over packed suitcases missionaries always seem to bring), and has 3 bedrooms, and 2 baths. However, the really high selling points are the fact that it comes fully furnished (with the exception of a washer/dryer), has a/c in EVERY bedroom and comes with a full inverter. Those last two things may seem odd or easy to come by, but believe me when I say that they are NOT! A/C is a luxury and although I was prepared to go without it, what a blessing for those hot and humid nights! Also, it will make everyone else's stay a lot more comfortable when I have teams down. Finally, and perhaps more importantly, it comes with an inverter which is kinda like a generator for when the power goes out. Which happens frequently, just ask anyone who's been here. Try cooking, bathing, or doing piratically anything else with not electricity!!
This house would be a HUGE blessing for me, for Jackie, for Beth (the woman I'm staying with), and for any of you who plan on visiting. So PLEASE pray that if it's God's will, that everything works out in a timely manner and if it's not, that I will continue to be patient with this crazy life I've started.
I love you all and can't wait to give more updates!
Tasha
I hope this little note finds all of you doing well. First, I want to thank you so much for all of your prayers and letters of support. It really means a lot to know that I am supported back home and to know that Daniel and I are surrounded by all of your prayers.
I'm going to attempt to keep this short, but I'm a writer by nature, so please excuse any rambling....
I know that most of you know that about my house situation (in case you don't or have forgotten: for the last three months Jackie has been looking for me a place to stay and the house hunt has been going on full-time the last week and a half since I've been here but with little luck.) I've been continuously disappointed by high prices, false advertising, or other sudden changes.
Although it's been frustrating, I've learned a lot about the Dominican culture over the last week and the woman I'm staying with has been an incredible hostess.
BUT I dare to say that the house hunt MAY be over. (I'm trying not to get my hopes up until I have the keys in hand because you never know anything with this country!) I looked at the apartment this morning and we're going to call tomorrow to say that we want it so PLEASE BE PRAYING!! Pray that it's still available, that the land lord is willing to wait until the first of the month for me to fully pay and move in (I have to wait and receive my allowance from the church at the first of the month), and that all the details of moving go smoothly.
The apartment itself is in a very good area (as far as safety is concerned), is on the first floor (to help move in all those heavy and over packed suitcases missionaries always seem to bring), and has 3 bedrooms, and 2 baths. However, the really high selling points are the fact that it comes fully furnished (with the exception of a washer/dryer), has a/c in EVERY bedroom and comes with a full inverter. Those last two things may seem odd or easy to come by, but believe me when I say that they are NOT! A/C is a luxury and although I was prepared to go without it, what a blessing for those hot and humid nights! Also, it will make everyone else's stay a lot more comfortable when I have teams down. Finally, and perhaps more importantly, it comes with an inverter which is kinda like a generator for when the power goes out. Which happens frequently, just ask anyone who's been here. Try cooking, bathing, or doing piratically anything else with not electricity!!
This house would be a HUGE blessing for me, for Jackie, for Beth (the woman I'm staying with), and for any of you who plan on visiting. So PLEASE pray that if it's God's will, that everything works out in a timely manner and if it's not, that I will continue to be patient with this crazy life I've started.
I love you all and can't wait to give more updates!
Tasha
Sunday, September 14, 2008
I'm here!!
I've been here for five days and so far, so good. (But I'm tried, so please excuse the briefness of this update)
I still haven't found permanent housing, but the place I'm staying is great. It's the home of an American woman named Beth Sanchez and she has been such a blessing! Her home is beautiful and I feel like I'm staying at more of a resort than a home. At first I felt guilty for such amazing accommodations (I'm in the "guest room" which is equipped with a view of the pool and hot tub, tropical plants, and a great big 'ol bed), but over the past few days I've realized what a blessing it is to be here. I've learned so much already from Beth and her husband, Ernesto, about the Dominican culture, Jackie's House, and all the ins and outs of what to expect here...Not to mention the fact that Beth is an incredible hostess.
But it's obvious that God has brought me here for a reason (here meaning the Sanchez's home). And I think the delay in housing is because I need to learn from these people. Beth has so many wonderful ideas on things I can do for and with Jackie's kids - things that otherwise may never have been accomplished. For instance, I want to teach English to the kids but have no formal teacher training. But Beth has agreed to show me some tricks to get me started and is going to help me find any tools that I may need...I know one of the biggest challenges is going to be my Spanish which needs a lot of work. I can pick up bits and pieces of conversations, but the Dominican people speak REALLY fast, super quite, and they cut off bits of their words!
Before signing off, I want to thank all of you who have been praying for me. I can definitely feel God's presence and His peace. Although I'm thousands of miles from home, and missing the relationships I have there, my emotions are under control and I feel good. So please continue to pray and I'll continue to keep you updated as much as possible. :-) Adios amigos!
I still haven't found permanent housing, but the place I'm staying is great. It's the home of an American woman named Beth Sanchez and she has been such a blessing! Her home is beautiful and I feel like I'm staying at more of a resort than a home. At first I felt guilty for such amazing accommodations (I'm in the "guest room" which is equipped with a view of the pool and hot tub, tropical plants, and a great big 'ol bed), but over the past few days I've realized what a blessing it is to be here. I've learned so much already from Beth and her husband, Ernesto, about the Dominican culture, Jackie's House, and all the ins and outs of what to expect here...Not to mention the fact that Beth is an incredible hostess.
But it's obvious that God has brought me here for a reason (here meaning the Sanchez's home). And I think the delay in housing is because I need to learn from these people. Beth has so many wonderful ideas on things I can do for and with Jackie's kids - things that otherwise may never have been accomplished. For instance, I want to teach English to the kids but have no formal teacher training. But Beth has agreed to show me some tricks to get me started and is going to help me find any tools that I may need...I know one of the biggest challenges is going to be my Spanish which needs a lot of work. I can pick up bits and pieces of conversations, but the Dominican people speak REALLY fast, super quite, and they cut off bits of their words!
Before signing off, I want to thank all of you who have been praying for me. I can definitely feel God's presence and His peace. Although I'm thousands of miles from home, and missing the relationships I have there, my emotions are under control and I feel good. So please continue to pray and I'll continue to keep you updated as much as possible. :-) Adios amigos!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
7 Days 'Til Transplant
"Are you excited?"
This is either the question on everyone's mind or part of a memo that was received by everyone but me. Either way, these three little words are raised at every event, greeting, or encounter I’m part of. However, although the question is exhausting to hear, my answer has changed several times over the past few weeks.
For those of you who asked three weeks ago, you probably heard something along the line of, "Yes. But I'm a little nervous too."
At the two week mark my answer sounded more like, "Yes and no. I'm excited to go but I'm not ready to leave Daniel."
And now, with exactly one week left in the States, my answer is whole-heartedly "Yes."
The last 14 days or so spent in Myrtle Beach have been filled with blessings with the biggest being the times I've heard from God and received comfort from his Holy Spirit.
Spending the summer in Michigan was full of trials. Health issues, family stress, and a complete lack of spiritual nourishment left me feeling drained and anxious. For three months I didn't have the luxuries of hearing heartfelt worship, meeting with my Refuge and ETL people, or having someone to encourage my walk with Christ. Without realizing it, I had begun to feel numb and had grown distant from the one source that means the most.
Since returning to the beach, I've once again found myself submersed in church and campus ministries and it's been VERY refreshing! Slowly my heart has been softened and for the first time in months, I can sense my connection to Christ. The time "spent away" (not from the faith, but from complete submersion) reminded me of several things:
1) I can NOT exist outside of God's presence
2) If I become unplugged from the source, my spirit suffers greatly
3) God is always present, always faithful, and always loving - it is I who am rebellious, complacent, and stubborn
I've been thinking of this post and what I should write for quite awhile and yet, I'm still finding it difficult to express my heart. I suppose it's because my relationship with Christ and his presence in my life exist outside of words or clichés. It (meaning the Holy Spirit) isn't something that can be explained or identified, it's something that IS.
A final thoughts about my life and my future:
A good friend recently told me that ministry, in all of its forms, is a calling - not a job. He said that if it were a job, he would have quit long ago. I say that to those who still don't understand or approve of my decision to set aside my college education, leave my home country and native language, and move to a third world country may understand that I'm not doing this for you, for me, or even for them - I'm doing it for Him. When God knit me together in my mother's womb he decided that I would be a missionary. It's as simple as that. I did not choose this life, it was chosen for me. And I don’t get to ask why, only how.
I'm reading a great book called Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus and he puts it like this:
"That door [meaning the door that leads to the fulfillment of our dreams] once passed through changes our lives forever; not because life is now better than it has ever been, but because we know we are on the path we were created to walk. It is our glory road, our glorious adventure. We have been called out of the mundane into a life beyond out wildest imagination. We have a mission, a purpose, a destiny. Finding [this] unique path does not bring us to a happy ending of [the] story - only a new beginning."
And that, my friend, is a beginning I’m ready to start!
This is either the question on everyone's mind or part of a memo that was received by everyone but me. Either way, these three little words are raised at every event, greeting, or encounter I’m part of. However, although the question is exhausting to hear, my answer has changed several times over the past few weeks.
For those of you who asked three weeks ago, you probably heard something along the line of, "Yes. But I'm a little nervous too."
At the two week mark my answer sounded more like, "Yes and no. I'm excited to go but I'm not ready to leave Daniel."
And now, with exactly one week left in the States, my answer is whole-heartedly "Yes."
The last 14 days or so spent in Myrtle Beach have been filled with blessings with the biggest being the times I've heard from God and received comfort from his Holy Spirit.
Spending the summer in Michigan was full of trials. Health issues, family stress, and a complete lack of spiritual nourishment left me feeling drained and anxious. For three months I didn't have the luxuries of hearing heartfelt worship, meeting with my Refuge and ETL people, or having someone to encourage my walk with Christ. Without realizing it, I had begun to feel numb and had grown distant from the one source that means the most.
Since returning to the beach, I've once again found myself submersed in church and campus ministries and it's been VERY refreshing! Slowly my heart has been softened and for the first time in months, I can sense my connection to Christ. The time "spent away" (not from the faith, but from complete submersion) reminded me of several things:
1) I can NOT exist outside of God's presence
2) If I become unplugged from the source, my spirit suffers greatly
3) God is always present, always faithful, and always loving - it is I who am rebellious, complacent, and stubborn
I've been thinking of this post and what I should write for quite awhile and yet, I'm still finding it difficult to express my heart. I suppose it's because my relationship with Christ and his presence in my life exist outside of words or clichés. It (meaning the Holy Spirit) isn't something that can be explained or identified, it's something that IS.
A final thoughts about my life and my future:
A good friend recently told me that ministry, in all of its forms, is a calling - not a job. He said that if it were a job, he would have quit long ago. I say that to those who still don't understand or approve of my decision to set aside my college education, leave my home country and native language, and move to a third world country may understand that I'm not doing this for you, for me, or even for them - I'm doing it for Him. When God knit me together in my mother's womb he decided that I would be a missionary. It's as simple as that. I did not choose this life, it was chosen for me. And I don’t get to ask why, only how.
I'm reading a great book called Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus and he puts it like this:
"That door [meaning the door that leads to the fulfillment of our dreams] once passed through changes our lives forever; not because life is now better than it has ever been, but because we know we are on the path we were created to walk. It is our glory road, our glorious adventure. We have been called out of the mundane into a life beyond out wildest imagination. We have a mission, a purpose, a destiny. Finding [this] unique path does not bring us to a happy ending of [the] story - only a new beginning."
And that, my friend, is a beginning I’m ready to start!
Monday, August 18, 2008
23 Days 'Til Transplant
I'm just over three weeks away from moving to the Dominican Republic and I'm a sea of emotions. Still in Michigan visiting my parents, I'm anxious to get to Myrtle Beach and surround myself with friends and my church family.
It's been a relatively good visit home, with lots of time to relax and lounge around the house, but it's also been filled with frustration and family stresses - not to mention the fact that I miss my boyfriend Daniel terribly.
But in just two days I will be at the beach and closer to fulfilling my calling as a missionary. It's still very surreal and the realization hasn't sank in yet - just think, by this time next month I will be in a different country, surrounded by Spanish speakers and hot tortillas.
As the day of my transplant quickly approaches, please pray for:
-Peace of mind and spirit
-A tight reign on my emotions - I feel like I'm on a roller coaster sometimes!
-A house! I still have no place to stay!
Thanks so much for your support, I'll keep you posted!
It's been a relatively good visit home, with lots of time to relax and lounge around the house, but it's also been filled with frustration and family stresses - not to mention the fact that I miss my boyfriend Daniel terribly.
But in just two days I will be at the beach and closer to fulfilling my calling as a missionary. It's still very surreal and the realization hasn't sank in yet - just think, by this time next month I will be in a different country, surrounded by Spanish speakers and hot tortillas.
As the day of my transplant quickly approaches, please pray for:
-Peace of mind and spirit
-A tight reign on my emotions - I feel like I'm on a roller coaster sometimes!
-A house! I still have no place to stay!
Thanks so much for your support, I'll keep you posted!
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